bossy

I didn’t start watching ‘Friends‘ regularly until it was in syndication. The reason this show is still relevant is because each character is relatable and funny (except for Ross, does anyone like that guy?). But in watching and re-watching every episode I realized that not only was Monica Geller-Bing relatable, I was just like her.

Monica is witty (natch), beautiful (check), career-driven (duh), and loving (of course), but she also highlights some of the not-so-great qualities I’ve developed over the years – to an extreme degree.

Cleaning & Organizing
My mom would laugh at this considering the state of my room most days when I lived at home, but I am a stickler for having everything in its place. There are nights I can’t go to bed until everything is put away or there aren’t any more dishes in the sink. I wouldn’t say that cleaning is my thing — I can go weeks without dusting (yeah, I said it) — but I LOVE to organize and label. Come to think of it, I don’t have a label-maker… how is that even possible?!? This trait spills over into my work life, too – I consider it one of my biggest strengths. You should see some of the Excel spreadsheets I’ve created, they’re beautiful.

Competing
As much as I’d like to say I’m not competitive, I’ll scratch your eyes out if you beat me in a game. Well, maybe not that extreme… but I’m definitely not the most gracious loser. As a kid I’d take part in any contest, whether it was a spelling bee or pie-eating, just to beat someone. I’d be the first one to yell out answers in class (or Sunday School) and would race to finish my test so I was the first person to deliver it to my teacher’s desk. Even as an adult I can get more into winning than actually playing… just like my good friend Monica.

Being Bossy
Especially when I was younger, if you asked my family to describe me in 5 words, bossy would definitely be one of them. I was older than most of my cousins and definitely louder than everyone. My poor sisters got the worst of it, though – they basically had to wait on me hand and foot (I’ve since apologized for that). I always wanted to decide where we were going to eat for family dinners, what we did during vacations, what we were going to rent from Blockbuster. I have now learned how to take the back seat and it feels good. But every once in a while that little control freak in me rears her ugly head and I force my husband to watch an episode of ‘The Voice’ with full commentary throughout. He still loves me though.

Bonus – Fat Monica
Monica was overweight growing up, something I can relate to (then and now). I will always be a fat kid at heart and will sometimes let myself become a fat adult before I snap out of it, start eating healthy, exercise regularly, and shed the excess. It’s a vicious cycle I’ve been in my whole life. Even now, though I’m not at my heaviest, I could stand to lose another 20ish pounds. I can still dance though, just like Monica.

If you haven’t heard Mary Lambert’s new song yet, give it a listen:

Girl knows how to write a good (and catchy!) tune and this one speaks to those of us who might struggle with self-image issues. Blame the media? Sure, I bet things I’ve seen in movies and magazines have given me slight complexes. Blame kids in school? Definitely, they can be cruel – especially when you’re chubby, wear glasses, and have braces. Blame yourself? YES – embrace who you are, don’t let other people define who you are.

Easier said than done, right? I’m still working on my confidence and sharing who I really am with others… and I’ll be 30 next month. But I’m grateful for who I am – grateful for the life experiences and relationships that have shaped me. In the spirit of sharing and expressing gratitude for being me, here is a list of some of my ‘secrets’ – I don’t care if the world knows them 🙂

I have a bossy streak. It was worse when I was younger (my sisters will agree), but I have to fight the urge to control every. single. thing.
Dancing makes me happy. But I’m terribly uncoordinated. I still dance though, haters gonna hate.
I’m extremely emotional. I don’t think that’s a bad quality to have – it makes me compassionate and empathetic. But I will cry if you look at me cross-eyed.
I am a planner. Organizing things gives me this high I cannot describe, how very Type A of me.
I fight being jealous of my pretty friends. But it’s my own fault for have such a gorgeous group of girlfriends – lucky me!
I love Disney World. Most people know I love Disney, but it’s really focused on Disney World and the films of the late 80s through the 90s. I don’t know much trivia, I don’t idolize Walt, but I will cry when I see Cinderella’s Castle or watch the fireworks show (see third bullet).
I’m passive aggressive. To the max. I will talk about the bad service I’m getting from a waitress 0.3 seconds after she’s turned around, loud enough so she can hear me. It’s not the best quality, so I’m trying to fix that bad habit.
I really, really love to sing. But I’m timid about singing, like letting it all out, in front of other people. I have a playlist that I only listen to when I want to belt it out during a nice shower when no one is home.
I am super competitive. More like dangerously competitive. I’ve been known to break game controllers by throwing them against walls (oops). I also get mad at people when they are better than me. Just a game? Don’t even utter those words in my presence… I’m mostly kidding.
I struggle with being overweight. I was always a chubby kid, it’s in my DNA. I wouldn’t say I had a full-fledged eating disorder in high school, but I definitely skipped 75% of my meals when I could get away with it. Right before our wedding, I was over 200 pounds. Yikes. I got focused and dropped the weight – down to a size 10/12 at my lowest (that picture below still blows my mind). I’m up a little again and now fit comfortably into a 14 size jean (still not too shabby), but I’m getting back on track and hope to get down to my goal of 8/10 through eating healthy and exercising more.