Snappy Title

Insert Snappy Title Here // Monica Geller-Bing is My Spirit Animal

I didn’t start watching ‘Friends‘ regularly until it was in syndication. The reason this show is still relevant is because each character is relatable and funny (except for Ross, does anyone like that guy?). But in watching and re-watching every episode I realized that not only was Monica Geller-Bing relatable, I was just like her.

Monica is witty (natch), beautiful (check), career-driven (duh), and loving (of course), but she also highlights some of the not-so-great qualities I’ve developed over the years – to an extreme degree.

Cleaning & Organizing
My mom would laugh at this considering the state of my room most days when I lived at home, but I am a stickler for having everything in its place. There are nights I can’t go to bed until everything is put away or there aren’t any more dishes in the sink. I wouldn’t say that cleaning is my thing — I can go weeks without dusting (yeah, I said it) — but I LOVE to organize and label. Come to think of it, I don’t have a label-maker… how is that even possible?!? This trait spills over into my work life, too – I consider it one of my biggest strengths. You should see some of the Excel spreadsheets I’ve created, they’re beautiful.

Competing
As much as I’d like to say I’m not competitive, I’ll scratch your eyes out if you beat me in a game. Well, maybe not that extreme… but I’m definitely not the most gracious loser. As a kid I’d take part in any contest, whether it was a spelling bee or pie-eating, just to beat someone. I’d be the first one to yell out answers in class (or Sunday School) and would race to finish my test so I was the first person to deliver it to my teacher’s desk. Even as an adult I can get more into winning than actually playing… just like my good friend Monica.

Being Bossy
Especially when I was younger, if you asked my family to describe me in 5 words, bossy would definitely be one of them. I was older than most of my cousins and definitely louder than everyone. My poor sisters got the worst of it, though – they basically had to wait on me hand and foot (I’ve since apologized for that). I always wanted to decide where we were going to eat for family dinners, what we did during vacations, what we were going to rent from Blockbuster. I have now learned how to take the back seat and it feels good. But every once in a while that little control freak in me rears her ugly head and I force my husband to watch an episode of ‘The Voice’ with full commentary throughout. He still loves me though.

Bonus – Fat Monica
Monica was overweight growing up, something I can relate to (then and now). I will always be a fat kid at heart and will sometimes let myself become a fat adult before I snap out of it, start eating healthy, exercise regularly, and shed the excess. It’s a vicious cycle I’ve been in my whole life. Even now, though I’m not at my heaviest, I could stand to lose another 20ish pounds. I can still dance though, just like Monica.

Insert Snappy Title Here // HIMMH

My husband, Alex, is the best person I know. Which is perfect since I’m going to spend the rest of my days with him. We just celebrated his birthday on Halloween and I thought now was a great time to be mushy and talk about how we first met and why I love him so much.

We met online. Not an uncommon thing in 2014, but our story starts in early 2005 – back when Facebook was a means for college students to connect with each other. He messaged me because we both attended Wayne State University, grew up close to each other, and he thought I was cute (always a bonus). We talked almost every day – he claims he still has some of our old chats saved, but in order to prevent my death from embarrassment I’ve decided to never ask to see them.

When I think back to what drew me to him, I remember all of the late-night conversations we used to have on the phone and how easy he was to talk to. He made me feel comfortable as we were getting to know each other better. He’s sweet and funny and a great friend – someone you want to talk to about your day, what you’re feeling and thinking. Even though we lost touch for a little while, I never stopped thinking about him.

Once we reconnected, I talked about him a lot at work and found out one of my coworkers had gone to high school with him – she convinced me that I should take him up on his offer for a date. We finally met in person in August of 2005. I remember getting myself all dolled up and waiting nervously in the parking lot where we decided to meet. We drove to Detroit for dinner at PizzaPapalis (still one of our favorite places in the city) and I was more shy than I probably should have been. I didn’t talk a lot, only when he asked me questions or I had a couple of my own. I honestly wasn’t sure if he wanted to see me again – maybe I wasn’t outgoing enough for him. But he called the next day, and the next. And by the end of the month we decided to date exclusively.

His smile. It’s like this half-smirk that just melts my heart. I would race from one job to another job to class to his place and know that smile would be greeting me at the door every time. My favorite part of the day was cuddling up and watching a movie or TV show together (something we both still love to do now). When our crazy schedules allowed for it, we’d head to Detroit and hang out with his friends or go to a local karaoke bar with my friends. I knew things were getting serious when we started mixing the two groups.

I remember I told him that I loved him for the first time by accident. It’s not that I didn’t mean it, but it was still pretty early in our relationship. I said it quickly, then just stared at him like “ohgodohgodohgodohgod” until he smiled and hugged me. I didn’t need him to say it back then – I knew he was a thoughtful person and would say it when he felt the time was right. One night at Vito’s in Lincoln Park, after I’d sung a silly song with a few of my girlfriends and was feeling buzzed on lemon drop shots, he told me he was in love with me. (Side note: for my fellow Michiganders, I’m aware at how “Downriver” I sound)

We’ve been together for going on 10 years. We moved from Michigan to Maryland, he went to law school, we got married, we’re excited to start a family. Stories for another edition of this column, I suppose – he’s just so great he deserves multiple chapters! He has helped me become the person I am today – he encourages me to be strong and confident, to challenge myself at work and with my hobbies (like this blog), to learn more about the universe and develop my core beliefs, to be a better friend and partner. And nothing I will ever say or do could express how deeply grateful I am for his presence in my life.

To my handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet, funny, kind, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING partner – thank you for being you.

Insert Snappy Title Here // Disclaimer

Have you read Tina Fey’s ‘Bossypants‘ or Mindy Kaling’s ‘Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns‘? You may also be excited about the upcoming memoirs by Amy Poehler and Lena Dunham (like I am). These bad-@$$ ladies have inspired me to write a little more about my life and the funny, weird, sad, uplifting, depressing, and amazing situations I’ve gotten myself into.

But first things first:

Disclaimer

Sarcasm, hyperbole, and exaggeration are my main methods of communication.

If I have more than one of something, I have 47 of them (not sure why that number is significant).

If something happens one time, it always happens.

If I really like something, I am borderline obsessed with it. No wonder I’ve seen ‘The Little Mermaid‘ hundreds of times.

While all of the stories and situations I’ll be sharing are 100% true, I should just say they are based on true events. For example: my mom really did have a giant praying mantis on her pant leg when she opened the door to a shop in Tennessee during a family vacation. I don’t believe it was an actual ‘blood curdling scream’, but that’s how I like to tell it. Sounds better than “and she screamed loudly” – am I right?

I’m also a little bit of a goofball, but I think that just makes me more interesting. Like this one time I dressed myself up as a Bret Michaels pirate (and it wasn’t Halloween):