Have you read Tina Fey’s ‘Bossypants‘ or Mindy Kaling’s ‘Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns‘? You may also be excited about the upcoming memoirs by Amy Poehler and Lena Dunham (like I am). These bad-@$$ ladies have inspired me to write a little more about my life and the funny, weird, sad, uplifting, depressing, and amazing situations I’ve gotten myself into.

But first things first:

Disclaimer

Sarcasm, hyperbole, and exaggeration are my main methods of communication.

If I have more than one of something, I have 47 of them (not sure why that number is significant).

If something happens one time, it always happens.

If I really like something, I am borderline obsessed with it. No wonder I’ve seen ‘The Little Mermaid‘ hundreds of times.

While all of the stories and situations I’ll be sharing are 100% true, I should just say they are based on true events. For example: my mom really did have a giant praying mantis on her pant leg when she opened the door to a shop in Tennessee during a family vacation. I don’t believe it was an actual ‘blood curdling scream’, but that’s how I like to tell it. Sounds better than “and she screamed loudly” – am I right?

I’m also a little bit of a goofball, but I think that just makes me more interesting. Like this one time I dressed myself up as a Bret Michaels pirate (and it wasn’t Halloween):

And no, I won’t regret posting that. Ever.